Breaking Cycles: Sometimes It Starts With One Person Who Cares
“It's so easy to vilify people. And as I started to know people coming out of prison and seeing what they were dealing with, my heart just went there. It's not a smooth ride. Children are in a family where there is mental illness or addiction, or even a parent who has been in prison. It's called ACEs. They get on this track, they don't do well in school, they get in with the wrong crowd. There's a failure to thrive. If you've had trauma in your life, you can still do great...if you're resilient. They found that the thing that causes the most resilience is having one person, one adult who cares. It breaks my heart thinking someone may have grown up without anyone who cared. And that's what I want to be...someone who cares.”
- Abigail Lewis, Founder & Executive Director of Golden Rule ReEntry
So, what are ACEs (or Adverse Childhood Experiences)?
They are potentially traumatic experiences that happen during childhood. According to the CDC, they can include abuse, neglect, witnessing violence, having a household member struggle with mental illness or substance use, or having a parent or household member who is incarcerated. These experiences can affect a child's developing brain, emotional well-being, relationships, learning and ability to cope with stress.
For some people, the effects of these experiences can continue into adulthood. People who eventually become involved with the criminal justice system may have experienced significant trauma and adversity earlier in life. Research done by the National Institute of Justice, involving incarcerated populations has found substantial histories of childhood victimization. An NIJ study of incarcerated adult men found that 68% reported some form of childhood victimization before the age of 12, including physical abuse, sexual abuse or neglect. This study reinforces the need to pay attention to neglected children.
This is where resilience comes in.
Resilience is the ability to adapt, recover and continue moving forward after experiencing adversity. It doesn't mean that trauma doesn't affect us or that we simply "get over" difficult experiences. Instead, resilience can grow when people have the support and opportunities they need to heal and develop new ways of coping. For a child who has experienced adversity, one of the most important protective factors is having a safe, stable, supportive relationship with a caring adult.
That person might be a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, teacher, coach, counselor or neighbor. What matters is that the child knows this...
Someone sees me. Someone believes in me. Someone is there for me.
And resilience can continue to develop throughout adulthood. Healing can happen. Healthy relationships can be built. New skills can be learned. And a person can experience what it feels like to have someone in their corner.
At Golden Rule ReEntry, we believe people are more than their worst decision or their past. We believe in creating relationships, stability, opportunities and community. We offer a full spectrum approach. We meet people where they are and work alongside them as they identify the areas of their lives that need support. We provide connection and community, while helping create pathways toward stability and self-sufficiency. We offer classes at our Drop-in center that focus on personal and professional development, health and wellness, financial and digital literacy. We recognize that meaningful change doesn't happen in isolation. It happens through relationships, encouragement, accountability, practical resources and opportunities to experience success.
We can't always change what happened to someone. But we can change what happens next. And sometimes it starts with simply being the person who cares.
Film by Life is Shortfilms
Written by Daisy Varley
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